Forever on my mind & always in my ripped apart heart!
NOw, I start another year, don't expect it to be much different- have had some better Saturday evenings from the gut ripping pain of ea. Saturday being the horrible reminder of you leaving us. but have never had a Saturday where I forgot you left!
3yrs!!!!what a long time without you- ea. day held 24 hrs for me-I can see where I do funtion some of these hrs now but then again, I ask myself"how well am I doing?"
I so wonder how well is your sister doing? I don't want her to hurt anymore than she has to so now I drive around the block to miss a cemetery & I cut a block short so she doesn't have to see all the headstones on display outside where I bought your's! I still see every Pepsi truck! I still beat the dash to the very special songs you liked. Thinking of putting your other drum stick in the van so I can beat the dash like you did!
3 yrs but its all so plain as it happened yesterday- I started going down hill about 2 wks before your B'day & then when it got here, I went into thinking ea day as it happened- the DR., the falls, the emerg. rm- the days waiting for a Neuro surgeon!
TOday, I'm thinking how it was a FRiday & me & your Heather was on our way to see you - not a clue you would never come home!We watched physical therapy come in & try to work with you- Yea, I saw you were numb on one side but we were talking of you being moved to a nice Re-Hab in Ormond- they were going to make it ok- & Dad & I talked after your Saturday morning visit that we'd cut the wall out leading to your bedrm & have the craftmatic bed there for you - Yea, mom would handle it! & i'd hold every glass of tea & Pepsi for you!! but when Saturday evening came & I got that call!!!THen, instead of re-hab on MOnday & moving you to Ormond, I was sitting in the Funeral HOMe picking out a casket!
Saturdays stink as your party was on Saturday, the next one, I was waitng for your next hospital for surgery!, the next SAturday, you left me & the next Saturday, was your burial! I never planned it, it all turned out this way!Pain forever, MOmma Close